Aaaand it Snowed

I was (foolishly) starting to think winter was over when we had those few warm days. No coat days. But it appears I was wrong.

 

The nighttime snowfall brought that sort of heavy snow that clings to the tree branches, and ice droplets, frozen in time.

It's dazzling and breathtaking.

I just stand and stare at the white and glassy wonderland and am in awe of the Lord and all He has created.

And even though it's cold, I get a warm feeling. Knowing that I don't need to walk this path of life alone, Jesus wants to walk it with me, right beside me. Right beside us, my husband and I together. Always.

 

 

But I still can't wait for Spring. BaRe ToEs. Short sleeves. Gardens growing. Swimming.

Ethan and I are headed to film a commercial in Florida though... so we get to escape the cold and snow, and find sunshine and sand! It's so neat to get to work alongside my husband, doing something we both love. It's not a long project this time though, so we'll be back in the good ole' north soon enough. There is nothing like a husband wife team with the Lord in the center. We're still workin' on that. I have the feeling it will be a lifelong path and journey. But we are hoping, striving to be there. And stay there. If the Lord isn't in the center of all we do, we are sure to fail. Perhaps not in the world's terms of success. But in having our lives be worth more. In touching other's lives. In having a marriage that truly shows the unselfish love, the deepness, the trust, that God wants to have with His children. 

 

I feel almost like we are betraying all our family and friends who must stay here and wait a couple more months for the 80-90 degree weather. But I'll still enjoy it. 

 

footprints and sparkles.

 

Frozen in time

 

 

Ice crystals and new spring buds

 

 

Just for fun

 

the water was frozen on the windows.

 

 

On a more springtime note...

Our little starter plants are growing bigger!

 

 

Until we return, tan and warm... (just kidding! We'll be working... *cough* most of the time)

And... we will have our first anniversary while we are down there! I can't believe it's been a year. But that's a topic for another day.

 

 

Ashley L.

 

 

 

Spring "Fever"

This last week and a half has been rather strange. I think it's the first time I've gotten sick like that in two years. My husband was so sweet. He would bring me tea for my sore throat, remind me to take my vitamins, and just take care of me.

The first night I was sick, I slept that afternoon and woke up hungry. Little did I know this was just the start of a week long date with the couch. I tried to get up and stumbled to the kitchen. Just travelling those few feet made me tired. Ethan came out to join me and we discovered we were both rather hungry. We couldn't get our minds - or tastebuds - off hamburgers. Yummy, juicy, and loaded with tomato, onion, and lettuce.

With an eager smile, Ethan led me to the couch, "Now you sit down. I'm gonna make some hamburgers for you. You don't have to do anything." I laughed as well as I could laugh in that state. Finally, I relented and sank onto the couch, out of breath already. Before long, I moved to a chair where I could watch him, my heart overflowing with his tenderness and sweetness as I watched him earnestly working away in my kitchen. Me being me, I didn't quite manage to keep myself there, I got up to help a little, but he did almost all of it, and it was SO GoOd!

I won't lie, and lying wouldn't do any good anyway, because all of you married people know the truth, we have our bad times, our hard times, but the good times, the special friend who's always there, the connection you share in life, the struggle to know the Lord and His will and to forge our way through life TOGETHER... it overwhelms the hard times. Completely. I spent the next four days on the couch, and much of the following days I found myself sitting down for a rest or falling asleep. Let's just say, my respect for mothers who get sick rose considerably last week!

 

As soon as I was able to be up and about, Ethan and I got out our soil and planting trays. And away we planted! We're so eager for Spring! I think we planted our lettuce too early. you're not even supposed to start it ahead, but the thought of yummy, crisp lettuce from our own garden took us over until we found ourselves pushing the little seeds into the little planting trays. And two days later, this is what we saw:

 

 

Now we just have to wait for the other plants to emerge! Where we live, we won't be able to plant outside until April at least. But it's fun to see the little green buds peeking out of the soil. It makes me feel like bare toes are on the way!

 

 

~ Ashley L

 

 

 

 

Yumminess

Most often, I make the meals. But Ethan and I sometimes like to create YuMMy food together. I think it's so sweet of him to join me in the kitchen sometimes, especially since he knows I'm not really much of a kitchen girl.  And we have so much fun together! I always tell him he's an awesome chef (because he is!). But he always denies it and says I'm way better. That's two second borns for you.

Before we were married, I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to make good food. (am I alone here?)

I had helped my mom in the kitchen, but rarely had I been in charge (except baking bread, I did that for our family and my "business"). Mostly cuz I didn't want to be! I preferred creative work and the outdoors. And I had been travelling and working on different movies for the past year.

I've actually found I enjoy making food for him though! And Ethan tells me my food is SuPer yummy and he doesn't know why I was afraid I couldn't cook. Thank you Lord! He says I've never made something he doesn't like... except the yogurt and fruit I added fish oil to, not knowing what it was. I know I'm bound to make some not so good meal sometime, but I'm grateful it can be an exception and not the norm like I was afraid it would be!

Thanks for encouraging me in cooking Ethan, and helping me feel more confident! And for doing it with me sometimes. It's so much fun together!  

 

Here's our Saturday afternoon brunch we made.

Deliciously browned sausage and fried eggs with cheese melted on top and refried beans on the side. Finished off with homemade bagels topped with cinnamon and xylitol, and steaming coffee. And of course the ever present spicy toppings, hot sauce and Uncle Joe's famous Diablo Dust (Ethan's Uncle makes it from his hot peppers. We LOVE it!)

 

Ashley L.

 

OceanTrust

I use Xanga more than I use this blog lately. You can find me at www.oceantrust.xanga.com

Pleasing God/Knowing God

My Uncle brought up an interesting question bounced off my last entry here. 

 

“Might really deep trust lead to a place of not worrying about pleasing anyone, not even worrying about pleasing God? I'm reminded of Paul in Ephesians 2:8, "For by grace we are saved through faith (which can also be translated as "trust"), and this is not our own doing, it is a gift of God." Curious about your thoughts...”

~~~~

 

This got me thinking. So here are my "thoughts" on that.

 

Very good point, Uncle Bob! If I'm worrying about pleasing God, it could lead to doing outward things I think He would approve of. It could lead to a superficial life. Which isn't what "being saved" or "being His" is about at all! The focus should be to know Him (not about Him), and trust Him, and focus on Him and not pleasing Him. If I truly seek to get to know Him better, I will automatically please Him. And then it will be from the heart, and not just an outward show.

Furthermore, it’s not me that makes me trust Him and have faith in Him and what He has done for me, it is His gift to me. I can’t even hope to achieve it on my own. I just have to be willing to take that faith, and have a heart attitude that wants to know Him more. A heart turned towards Him. A heart that longs for His companionship, “As the deer pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after thee, O God.” Psalm 42:1

And when I really know Him and am close to Him in my heart, like I am to my husband, I will really trust Him, because I will realize more than ever how much He cares for me, even if at first glance it might not look like it. Just like a child might not like being denied something by their parents, but when they grow up, they suddenly realize why and it was because their parents cared about them.(believe me, I know! ;) ) The most caring parents, are the ones who don't let their kids get away with everything.

Full trust in Jesus Christ should mean you don't worry about anything. I shouldn't worry about pleasing Him, I should strive to know Him.

That said, we should please God and not try to please/get approval and acceptance from people. But we shouldn’t worry about pleasing God. “But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which tries our hearts.” 1Thessalonians 2:4

 

Thanks for getting me thinking, Uncle Bob.

(and sorry it’s so long!)

 

I don't usually pay much attention to St. Patrick's Day... I'm not sure why. But it reminded me today of green... and green reminded me of Spring and new life... and since it was the warmest day yet this year, I ventured outside to capture some SPRING. As you can tell from the pictures below, I had fun inside too

 

 

Our starter plants are growing bigger!

 

Greenness

 

Cactus and glass on our windowsill

 

 

 

Onion planted last year... still growing even after all that cold and snow. It reminds me of how I shouldn't let the hard times get me down. They are meant to draw me to Christ. And what I ought to do, is look to Jesus, cling to Him, make Him my all, and Spring will come.

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. About what I should be doing with my life. Even as the words "my life" come out of my mouth, I realize that it shows I don't really understand much about life and my Lord. It is His life, and I ought to be living it for Him. It seems so easy to say, it rolls off my tongue so easily. "My life is His." But doing it. Now that is a hard one. And at first it seems so complex, how could anyone ever figure out how to live for Jesus?

I could go be a missionary, and dedicate all my time to telling people about Jesus, and still be living life for me. I can't just decide what I am going to do, and say "Lord, aren't you proud of me?" Just because I am in the mission field doesn't mean I am serving God. It sounds strange to say that, but I know it's true. 

I could have a job scrubbing floors and taking out the garbage, and be living life for Him. Or I could have a cushy job in a nice place and still be living for Him. But what in the world determines whether it is for Him or for me? What determines whether, when I see Jesus, He will say "Well done..." or "I never knew you."

 

 

As I have walked through life, it seems like the Lord keeps pointing me back to this one thing. To my heart. To who it is listening to. To who it is trying to please. To whose acceptance it is trying to obtain.

The pharisees seemed like they had it all together. And they denied themselves so many things thinking they were elevating themselves above the others and earning a way to Heaven. They followed lots of outward rules. But they fell far short. They were missing something. They were missing God at the center of their lives. And many times, God has woken me up to the fact that I am living with an attitude like they had... over and over again He's had to show me that I am slipping back into looking for other people's acceptance, to making sure I'm doing the right things and I look good. And it grieves my heart when I suddenly realize I'm acting like I care more what other people think (even other Christians, wanting them to accept me and think I am Godly) than what God does! Is it because I feel like He'll always love me, no matter what? And I have to earn other people's love?

Frankly, painfully, it shouldn't matter to me. The only way I will get closer to God, is by looking for His approval, by listening to Him. And I will only be able to hear Him if I don't put qualifiers on serving my Lord, "God, I want to serve You... but don't make me do it by____" fill in the blank. "Oh! And actually, wouldn't training horses, or making movies be a good way to serve You? Yeah! That's perfect!" And go off, never having let Him get a word in edgewise. Us humans so often think we know, that we have the answers. But in reality, our wisdom is foolishness, and our answers are guesses.

That doesn't mean because I want to do something it means it's not His will for me, not at all! But I have to be willing to yield "my" wishes, "my" talents to Him. He's the only one who sees the big picture and who knows what He created me for.

 

Honestly, I'm not doing this very well right now, but slowly, He is teaching me to let go of this life, this temporary body and world, of myself and my ideals, and hang on to Jesus for all I am worth. And when I do that, and keep my eyes on Him and my heart open to Him, that is when things become more clear. When I feel at rest, at peace, knowing that I am His, and He is mine. That is when all the clanging of my own mind clears away, and I can hear Him from the heart and know what is His will. Then I can be content, no matter what I am doing, like Paul said, "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." (Philipians 4:11) Because I know God is pleased and I am near to Him.

It's all in the heart. And in letting go of me so I can hold on to Him with both hands.

Then I can grow, and know Him, and have new real life.

 

 

 

~ Ashley L.